Flash mob, noun
A flash mob is a group of strangers who organize themselves, using electronic media such as cell phones or the Internet, to gather together in a public place, behave in a pre-determined (and often silly) manner for a pre-determined amount of time, and then quickly disperse.
Cast of characters:
R – journalist, drunk, in the process of getting stoned
J – artist and illustrator, drunk, in the process of getting stoned
An – haven’t the faintest what he does, drunk and stoned
A – playwright, apparently nervous about being in the process of getting stoned
M – birthday boy who brought his own cake, in the process of getting stoned and drunk
L – journalist, getting drunk and stoned
Me – note-taker, not drunk or stoned
Last night, or this morning, depending on how pedantic you want to be, a group of friends and some strangers organised themselves using cell phones to gather in a private space. In the course of about an hour or so, while creating an impressive Venn diagram with two circulating joints (clockwise and anti-clockwise, if you please), a genius idea was hit upon. Just for the record, I was merely the passer of said joints so there’s no chance I hallucinated any of the conversation below.
R: We can meet on Thursday. We could go swimming like today.
J: I almost drowned.
R: That’s true.
J: I have no lung capacity.
R: That’s because you were chain-smoking for 10 minutes before you got in the pool.
A: That’s an Olympic event they should introduce – the fastest 100m swim after chain-smoking for 10 minutes.
(Giggles from all present parties)
J: What do they call those things, you know, where people just show up, in hordes?
R: Flash mobs.
An: Flash moms?
An: Loike modders?
R: No, not moms. Mobs. Flash mobs. Like a crowd.
L: Mob. Not mobs. Singular. One mob.
J: They just gather. Like they had a huge flash mob rave at Victoria. It was totally silent.
L: A silent rave?
J: Yeah. Everyone had their iPods on and they were dancing madly.
L: Where’s the joint?
An: Which one do you want?
A: It looks like I’ve got both.
J: Someone should do that here. A swimming flash mob!
R: Everyone chain smokes for 10 minutes and then jumps into the pool?
J: Yes! I’ll sponsor the event at Juhu gymkhana.
R: No, I want it at the CCI.
J: Ok. (turning to L) Will you help organise it?
L: I’ll send all my friends, in droves. Where’s the joint?
J: Can you swim?
J: That’s perfect!
A: There’s a great event for L. It’s either the gold medal or death.
M: Flash mobs are illegal here. They tried it in Worli. A whole bunch of people showed up and opened up their umbrellas.
J: Then? What did they do?
M: That was it. They opened their umbrellas. The police came there and broke it up.
M: They said it was potentially violent.
J: We could still do it with swimming.
So if you do read in the newspapers about a flash mob diving into a pool in Mumbai….