“Call 1912 for only electric problems”

“Hello, Calcutta Electric Supply?”

“Hello.”

“I’m calling from Ballygunge Place and I have an emergency.”

“Madam, we are all in a state of emergency. Modern urban life is like that. But how can I help you?”

“Like, I said, I have an emergency.”

“Is it related to your electric supply?”

“Yes. That’s why I’m calling you.”

“You’d be surprised how many people call 1912 when they mean to call 1412.”

“What is 1412?”

“Indian Airlines.”

“Ok, I don’t need Indian Airlines. I have an electrical emergency.”

“Then you’ve called the right number.”

“Please listen. The wire in my meter box has been burnt. I have no electricity, there’s smoke and the smell of something burning.”

“Please call the fire department.”

“But there isn’t a fire.”

“Madam, if there is the smell of something burning then something is burning and if something is burning there is a fire and if there is a fire, you must call the fire department. Call 1912 for only electric problems.”

“This is an electric problem. There is no fire. The burning smell is coming from the wire in the fuse box, which was burnt as a result of which I have no electricity.”

“Is the wire burnt?”

“Yes.”

“Or would you say it’s singed?”

“Umm… it’s melted.”

“I thought you said it was burnt.”

“Well, it was burnt and then it melted.”

“Not singed?”

“Is this relevant? My fuse box has no wire, my house has no electricity.”

“Madam, do not underestimate the power of words. Words gave us Bengal’s first Nobel laureate.”