If you are one of the few who subscribes to the RSS feed of this blog, you just got notified about a new post that has nothing in it. Apologies. It’s just that having received the text message I’m going to share with you, I was all thumbs. It’s a mass sms sent out by Suhas Awchat, the owner of the restaurant and kitsch nightmare Goa Portuguesa. If you eat there, you get serenaded by tone deaf men in sombreros and Hawaiian/wannabe-Goan shirts; a look at Awchat’s guns (this is not a euphemism; he carries a gun around in order to add credibility to his claim of having served in the Indian army), and heartburn. The spacing and spelling of the sms have not been tampered with in order to respect the writer’s grammatical integrity.

Mitr,i am appointed as a President of Human Rights Assos of Centre- Mumbai aprvd by Govt & UN.V can now fight against injustice,coruption etc.U can b member & will b entitled 4 Spl Name Plate 4 ur car,Powerful Letterhead & ID/Visiting Card which will enable u 2 help citizens.Pl SMS if intrstd.Tnx,Dr.$uhas

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s $uhas Awchat’s letterhead and visiting card! He has the powerrrrrr! Stay in your cave, Batman. We’ve got the promise of a special license plate and powerful letterhead and visiting cards with which to vanquish evil. Cue in swelling orchestra that befits heroic exit.