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When you’re unemployed, as I am at the moment, getting an email that asks you to write something is generally a wonderful thing. Not so much because it offers a possibility of payment (if you’re a freelancer, then consider payment a bonus. You’re supposed to get thrilled at the sight of your byline in print.) but because it brings you in contact with a person who remembers your writing. That should always be a reason to exult. Unless it’s my inbox into which you’re peering.

Someone who has spent a significant number of years in the media as an English-language writer got in touch with me and asked me if I was interested in a collaboration of sorts. This person then proceeded to detail what they were looking for, complete with bullet points and asterisks. Ending the email, they wrote, “Having written this brief to you, I am now naked. Please keep this in mind when you write back.”

I’m now imagining said person systematically stripping as they write bullet point after bullet point.

Did. Not. Need. That. Image.

Dear god.

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9 thoughts on “Bare it all

    • I think they meant something along the lines of “I’ve laid my cards on the table”. Except they picked a slightly different metaphor. Sigh.

  1. This comment doesn’t make any sense to me, though it is really funny. If the person did mean “I’ve laid my cards on the table”, then why say “please keep this in mind while writing back”?

    You do get interesting emails. I would be very amused (and a little disturbed) if someone I knew ended an email by telling me that they are now naked. 😀

  2. Because they wanted me to realise that since they’d told me all that they were planning, it was a sign that they were both trusting me and depending on me to say yes. Trust me, they didn’t actually want me to imagine them naked. 😀

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