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Any of you in India who are regular TV watchers have probably seen this ad already so this is old news to you but I channel-flipped today after ages and came across this ad, which I feel I must share.

Allow me to present an advertisement for iBall’s Nirantar UPS:

Quite frankly, I’m not entirely sure what a UPS is but I’m guessing it’s some sort of alternative power source, presumably for a computer. Someone at an Indian advertising agency decided that the best metaphor to communicate the purpose of a speedy UPS was to liken it to male libido. Having struck upon this genius idea, it was clearly decided that the male in question cannot be Indian. I suspect this is because we cannot risk bruising the national male ego by suggesting that the Indian penis needs time to rise up to the occasion or that it needs time to, well, recharge. Consequently, the hapless male is one Richard, who (judging from his accent) is Australian and who must disappoint his partner when she asks him coyly, “Richard, are you ready?” Richard’s partner is a blonde woman because even in the world of advertising, we can’t imagine a woman being the initiator. Or maybe it’s because Indian women in advertising don’t have sex; they’re either the girlfriends with whom you share ice cream/chocolate/sms or they are baby-carriers. Anyway, the point is Richard and his lady love are able to hop into bed and go under the covers the moment the UPS comes into their lives. Presumably because now Richard’s penis picks up some tips from the UPS, and recharges quicker. Consequently, there’s “NO LOSS, BOSS” (caps, theirs).

And the UPS brand is iBall.

Genius. Absolute sheer genius.

Click for a larger version

Speaking of male libido, Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s encounter with a maid in Sofitel is obviously the subject of much chatter. It’s led to disclosures from other maids in Manhattan, like this:

“Some of them would come up with towels around them, and plan to be dropping the towels.”

It’s as though these hotel guests are all trying to pull a VIP Frenchie (see left), which is, incidentally, what the boys of Kolkata’s La Martiniere supposedly kept saying out loud when the French president Francois Mitterand came to the school to award the filmmaker Satyajit Ray his Legion d’Honneur.

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5 thoughts on “Electric Feel

  1. That’s such a good bad ad.

    His sad expression, the non-slutty looking blond with the Skeletor face (who is harrowing the poor man), also the bad dubbing and the awkward lying down in bed…

    But on the other hand (regarding bruised desi ego), the guy isn’t so firangi looking that he can’t pass for a bawa or some nice gori boy. The subliminal message in this ad is baffling.
    I’m really confused now.

    Good thing I’ve largely avoided all sex with indian men with or without their iballs.

    iBall should really be the name for a testical implant.

    It should be able to play music via iTunes.

    • I think the problem is Skeletor woman. *nods grimly* Instead of a good Indian girl, he gets a good Indian UPS, and he’s sorted.

  2. It’s not uncommon for a UPS to catch fire. How’s that for a smoking red-hot libido enhancement? Everything these days is a i-something or e-business, personally I have had e-nough!

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