I don’t blog when I’m on holiday. It’s a rule that has developed out of the fact that I hate having to carry my laptop around. Not only is it not precisely compact, I figure that I spend enough time with the damn thing while in Mumbai. Plus, I dislike having to pay for internet when I’m abroad. However, today, I have to break from tradition; partly because of the joys of free wi fi (ah First World, you beautiful beautiful thing), partly because I do have a compact computer now and mostly because I need to share my befuddlement.
When I looked at my inbox about 10 minutes ago, I saw an email urging me to get myself some heel condoms.
Yes, heel condoms. That’s what this is known as, apparently.
Leaving aside the fact that condom isn’t the prettiest of words in the English language, I’m plagued by the other problems with the phrase “heel condom”. First, considering a condom is essentially a thin sheath that goes around an organ thereby acting as a protective layer, a heel condom would then be… a sock. Second, the heel condom doesn’t really cover the heel, which means it can’t be a condom. If anything, it is a heel strap-on since like strap-ons, it’s a cosmetic add-on. However, it seems that in the devil-and-the-deep-blue-sea situation of sexual references, contraception allusions are more acceptable than dildo innuendo.
Heel condoms. Priced between Rs. 999 and Rs. 1,499.
Ok, I’m going back to my holiday now.