Now this is how a festival diary should be written. Paul Beckett, you, sir, are a genius. (Not that he’s ever going to read this, but what the heck.) Please go read the entire article here. It is the only good thing that has come of the damned Jaipur Literature Festival so far (other than my conclusion that the only thing I can do is try to break into the mail-order bride market. But more on that in another post and I’m not sure that’s necessarily a good thing). But I digress. Choice quotes from a brilliant article by Paul Beckett — despite the typos — on being a press person attending the Jaipur Literature Festival. Enjoy.

 The real punishment of the Rushdie episode was having to check at all times of the day and night whether he had Tweeted anything new. Did we know he was going to put out a statement on Friday? We did not. So there we sat, hitting “Refresh” until our thumbs were blue and our eyes were red (that may have been the Balvenie 12-year-old but I do believe staring at a computer screen over the years has given me a slight squint, if you care.) …

There is a primary rule in the industry that if everyone shows up (and, yes, I’m delighted to say we have a very strong Jaipur showing from The Wall Street Journal this year), it must be important, thank you very much.

So you can take your questions about why we don’t write more about poverty alleviation and the impact of the eurozone crisis on Indian corporate debt and shove them up your semi-academic monthly. …

Fortunately, I hadn’t got four paces before I ran into a colleague from another major newspaper and we decided that neither of us was particularly interested in Nigerian poetry (how do you blog about that, for Pete’s sake?) So we resolved to approach the Kingfisher [a beer brand] stand instead. …

 I — and many of my compadres in the dark arts of journalism — like to associate ourselves with the leading lights of the literary world. We think that, deep down, we could probably do what they do, if only we didn’t get caught up in watching “The Wire.” Maybe we, if we do ever write that bestseller, will get to read from it to adoring fans who aren’t members of our immediate family, too.

Once again, do read the entire blog post here.

3 thoughts on “Three Cheers for Paul Beckett

  1. what a non event. although thanks for the reprieve. beckett is really funny. or maybe it’s just hard to tell funny after your twofer involving racist new yorker and racist shteyngart of the haha women are so weak, haha, africa is so poor, haha, arabs are so terrorist provenance.

    • Er, well, hello there. Wasn’t quite expecting this. I feel like I should bow deep and pay my respects to Google Alerts. But thank you for stopping by.

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