Lady Cop

If you’ve been stuck in traffic on Hill Road in Bandra, then chances are you’ve seen a small, squat woman managing traffic. Apparently, her real job is to deliver eggs. In her spare time, she’s a traffic constable. Sometimes, she wears a uniform that isn’t a copy of a traffic police’s gear but looks sufficiently official. And why not? It has a beret-esque hat as well as a whistle. Sometimes, she’s wearing civilian gear, i.e. a dress, with poofy sleeves. On the days that she isn’t wearing her uniform, I imagine her rushing out of the house because she realises the traffic at Hill Road needs ner right away. There’s no time to waste with uniforms. To the junction of Hill Road and That Other Road Whose Name I Don’t Know she must go. Now.

I love this woman. She is one of the most adorable people I have ever seen, particularly when she’s absolutely livid and managing traffic. When I saw reports recently of women cops being manhandled (in Mumbai, protestors roughed up a few women cops and in Bhubaneswar, a woman cop was horribly beaten up), I remembered our egg lady. No one would ever lay a finger on her. I can’t imagine anyone would dare even think of doing so. This woman yells, her eyes almost pop out with rage if a car inches towards her without permission, her eyebrows scrunch up, her arms flap furiously. There are raging bulls that look more docile than this lady when she dons her traffic police avatar. And, not that I’ve read the comic, but Bandra’s egg lady who manages traffic seems way cooler than Lady Cop. Stopping the Merc so that the auto can putter away and loosen the knot of traffic is way more glam than lecturing women about gonorrhea. That said, Lady Cop certain has some nifty moves.

So much better than just “Biff!”

While I’m mystified by the circumstances that lead to a cop wearing boxing gloves, I do love the little planet buzzing around the guy’s ear. Because when you get punched by Lady Cop, you see way more than stars.

If I could get hold of a copy, I’d gift it to the egg lady. Bless.