If you haven’t heard the cover of “Call Me Maybe” by Paradise Fears, I would recommend you don’t. Not because it’s a bad song. The original is unbearable but Paradise Fears’s cover is pleasantly “alt pop” as someone said to me recently. (Though, what the devil is “alt pop”? If it’s alternative, shouldn’t that immediately cancel out popular?) The song does have some serious earworm powers though. I’ve had it on loop for the last three days. It’s getting to the point where my neighbour — who blasts “Nights in White Satin” and “Endless Summer Nights” — is starting to send peace messages. At least that’s how I interpret them playing Nirvana each time I play “Call Me Maybe”.
Anyway, that’s not the point.
This post is a call for help. I need “a 360˚ degree understanding” of celibacy for something I’m writing. (A marketing-type chappie used “a 360˚ degree understanding” while talking to me on the phone the other day. It’s my new favourite.) If any one of you has any experience of voluntary celibacy and are open to sharing your story with me, please write to email@example.com. Perhaps you’ve chosen to be celibate till you get married. Perhaps you suspect you’re asexual. Perhaps something happened that turned you towards celibacy. Married, in a relationship, single, undecided — whatever your relationship status and whatever the reason for your choice, I’d like to know your story. You can be as anonymous as you want to be. All markers of your identity will be protected and nothing will be disclosed to anyone. If you don’t want me to write about your story, I won’t. But I really would appreciate the perspectives of people who have chosen to be celibate, for whatever reason and in whatever circumstance, so it would be very helpful to hear your story even if I can’t use it in my writing.
So yes, email me maybe. It would be immensely helpful.